September 19th, 2005

Current Music: some new hot beat i got..jealous? should be Subject: OMG! Time: 03:13 pm Current Mood: giddy

OMGWTFBANANABACKWOODS!!!1 https://www.lilbrown.com/Domestic-Cigars/BACKWOODS.htm -drools- -orders- its on bitches thats all, have a nice day

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July 20th, 2005

Current Music: Young Jeezy - Get Ya Mind Right Subject: I'm the realest nigga in it, you already know, got "Trapper of the Year" 4 times in a row.... Time: 12:57 pm Current Mood: blah

Long time no update... Mainly due to me not being around and not having internet....which is a great thing to me....for some reason, the internet has lost 99% of the appeal it once had to me...i mean, for the past 6 months or so, ive pretty much just used it for getting music and keeping in touch...but now its like i could care less about most of that....my music is more important to me than most of the shit out there and i dont miss sitting around and being on aim...ive never been one for the sending pictures/chatting/whatever but theirs a few people i still like to keep in touch with .... im slowly starting to realize more and more that in this world, you only have yourself ...so why bother sitting around "making friends" ...its almost like the internet is an imaginary life to me now...i think a lot of it has to do with me getting the apt. manager job, along with the theatre job...the apt. manager job definately keeps me more in touch with the "real world"....and im not..net-bashing, im just speakin how it is for me at this point... theirs some stuff lately that ive been thinkin about that i miss about the "old me" ..but at the same time, doing that brings more trouble than its usually worth...atleast with my luck. I think more than anything i miss having my people around me. I've seen that nothings the same as being around family that you've known for over 3-4 years. I think i took that for granted...and now i cant....and i dont want to go back to ny...i just would like to have some kind of family like that out here...its not like back in ny everyones still there like i remember, so its probably more the feeling than the place that i miss.. my mixtape is getting done as i type this....60-70 minutes of staying up till 5am, recording with tunnel vision, and giving everyone a view into my thoughts and my perspective...I have no idea how it'll be recepted, but i dont give a fuck, its not close to the end and the beginning was 8 years ago...I realized last night that I've always counted on making it....either by myself, or what the fuck ever...they tell ball players, when you go to college, get your degree cause you never know if you're gonna go pro....well, i fucked around and never thought about not making it...last night i looked at an older co-worker of mine and thought "wow...he really has nothing other than this job, another job to wake up to at 5 a.m., and 4 kids"...i refuse to let myself be that guy...and then i thought about it and, im NOT that guy....when it comes down to it, im a 23 year old asst. manager (at a theatre, but fuck you...) and apt. manager for over 70 apt's.. add that to my mixtape being done and my album being in full motion, and being able to share my time with someone i truly enjoy being around and love, and id say im pretty fuckin successful in the terms of society, and my family tree. I think not having that family i was talking about helps me forget that ive been more successful in the past year than i had in the past MANY years...especially since graduation. I also think not having that around me makes me work that much harder...keeps me motivated. Things could be better, they could be worse but in the end its one day at a time..... oh, one last thing, graham and ana.....i hope everythings going well with ..everything. graham i havent forgotten about you and i appreciate the email before i left...i just havent gotten around to getting back to anyone...but i coulda told you about that 9th/Buckshot shit being hot :-) ...i got shit for you to hear so let me know when either of you are around or somethin...

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September 2nd, 2004

Current Music: Insane Clown Posse-In My Room Subject: My God, My Face Hairs...Gone? Time: 06:45 pm Current Mood: bouncy

Before: http://img37.exs.cx/img37/530/DSCF143.jpg After: http://img37.exs.cx/img37/8856/DSCF144.jpg (isuck@html, get over it) Yup, i decided today to shave my face-hair...i dont know why really, i just figured, why not?...I havent felt my face hairless in a LONG time...like...2 years? if not more...So needless to say, just having the air hit my face at this point is fucking weird...along with putting a bong to my mouth...i do remember that was the one thing i thought the last time i shaved too...so yeah, for now, im chillin and ..rubbing my face....how fucking homo does that sound? either way, my face now with no hair > my face with much more chins with no hair (When i was 275)...so i'll live, and it turns out nora wants to see my face with no hair, so maybe ill hook it up again in the next couple weeks or whatever... Yup, thats about all thats going on...my parents want me to go to maine with them..or atleast extended the invite..but i have a feeling maine will suck with no nora...and i hate to sound "oh god i cant have fun without her"...but i know that maine will be the last place ill have fun without her...i know i hate beaches by myself..atleast with her itd be worth it....so thats a maybe, but most likely no to that.. then the parents leave for AZ mid-week next week, so that should be interesting..hopefully we're getting nora's ticket here tonight for the next weeks thursday night, then we'll be going to chicago for good on monday (about 3 weeks from now)..... so yeah, im out...same bat time, same bat channel, etc.

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August 13th, 2004

Subject: long time no...type.... Time: 08:16 pm

Dear Journal...(this shit is soooooo fuckin weird) anyways, yeah, theirs not much going on....i went to and got back from Nora's since the last time i was on here...everything went very well with that...we were cute together....annnnd, i got a new icon thanks to her ...cause i suck with that stuff....(the one up there ^^^^) annnnd ill hopefully be in chicago in early september, whoo hoo....and if you dont like that, i got 2 words for ya..... you're jealous

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